My computer says it’s midnight, but my mind is working like its 11am. For some reason or another, my job isn’t completely satisfying me these days. Maybe it’s because, as I told someone the other day, I am not involved in the theatre community and I miss that. Or perhaps it’s because I have a staff that, try as I might, will not stick to the processes and complete their tasks as assigned. Or even scarier for me, maybe I truly do start to itch after a couple of years and long for the “next big thing”. It admittedly does seem to be a pattern for me.
So where does that leave me? Looking for a job, that’s where. I have applied for three jobs in the last two months. Nothing has obviously panned out for one reason or another. The first was a theatre company in NYC for a job that could have been a bit out of my league at this point in my career. I put in my application apparently after the job had been opened for too long and they already had someone lined up. The second one, a job here in DC, is still open, but yet no call. Did I truly not tweak my resume enough to not even warrant a phone call? I actually thought that job was a slight step back from what I do now. Maybe that was cocky of me or maybe they are taking over a month to get in resumes before they start to call people. Either way, I’ve pretty much give up on that one too.
The last job I took about an hour applying for today. It’s a combination of many things I’ve done in the past would require a bit of a lifestyle shift (not to mention a potential foreign language course) and a definite relocation to New York City, but it was just too interesting not to submit a resume for consideration. I mean, what Arts Admin graduate would not jump at the chance to become involved in International Theatre and fly to Madrid, Spain in September!? Would I be surprised if they didn’t call? Of course not. But that is what has me up at 12:07am, tossing and turning so much that the dog was giving me dirty looks.
Once I get a potential life change into my head, I can’t stop thinking about it. It just seeps in and I start to play scenes out in my head about the apartment search and where we would live and what my office would look like and where all I would travel and where D would find a job and what our social life would become there and on and on. I don’t exactly know how to make it stop. That or the itch.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
take a look, lee.....
It's been a long time (almost 7 months I guess) since I updated or talked about anything. I tend to go through cycles when I have a lot to talk about, or rather want to talk about, and then there are the times when I just don't feel like its interesting enough to talk about or frankly, I'm just too lazy! :)
But today I feel a bit chatty, so let's take a look back on some recent events.
New Year's Eve was spent working the concert/after party at the Kennedy Center with Garth. Luckily, D's schedule allowed him to come and hang out with me, which made the night go much better and gave me someone to kiss at midnight! I dreaded the event because I felt unsure of some of the logistics, but the PAFE team, as always, had everything under control and the night went very smoothly and all in all I had a good time. Balloons dropped, people sang, patrons drank, I drank....and then I got a much needed day off to recooperate.
My 29th birthday on the 28th was pretty quiet which was just fine by me. I had to work, but then D and I went out to Montmartre on Capitol Hill for dinner and had some great food and celebrated my existance. I have to say, I'm looking forward to being finished with the 20s. I sometimes feel like that little kid trying to be an adult and just not quite making it.
Christmas on the other hand was not quite what I wanted it to be. I think I wrote last year about how disappointing the holiday had become to me, and this year it held true again. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE and miss my Mom A LOT and will cross whatever distance I must to see her at Christmas, but this year, for some reason, it was incredibly hard not to be with the rest of my family (Derek, Beau, Kate, Tonya, the Bowleys, etc.) I spent a great deal of the first part of my life ashamed of who I was and hiding it from everyone in my family except Mom. Since moving away to DC/Boston/DC I have been able to live my life as it should be lived, in the open, hiding nothing. However, when I go back home to Alabama I put back on the mask because sometimes it just feels easier that way. I honestly don't know how much longer I can keep it up.
Thanksgiving was a blast, minus the fact that one of the guests had a seizure and had to be taken by ambulance to GWU. (That's a long story and I don't know him very well so that will be left untold.) However, before that we were able to spend a couple of days with Marty, the Nicks, Rob G., Tim, Steven and their families. We drank, we laughed, we cooked, we ate, we took over a DC hotel lobby...it was fantastic.
D has been working his self ragged lately. His connections in the DC theatre community are continually growing and as a result he is finding more and more work as a music director. (Which I think has been a dream of his for a very long time.) It's so great to see him so happy, but these past few months have been a little too stressful for him as he has basically been working on about 4-5 different projects at once. It will slow down a bit for him in about a week which will be really nice for us both. I miss having him around more, but so is the life when you have a partner in the theatre industry.
I have to tell a quick side story. One night when I was waiting outside Theatre J to pick D up after his rehearsal I saw a gay couple walking down the street at 10pm at night holding hands and laughing without fear or nervousness about their display of affection. I couldn't help but smile and be happy for them and I guess a little for myself. It was on the eve of leaving for Alabama and it was a quick confirmation that moving to a place like DC was the right thing to do for my life.
Finally, before I go, as it is the eve of the first Democratic caucus I will give my two cents about the upcoming primaries and 2008 election. I haven't quite decided who I will vote for in DC's primary in February. I'm leaning toward Hillary at the moment, but quite frankly I simply want whoever can win in 2008 against the Republican nominee. I'm a bit disappointed in the Democratic party as of late and mostly because of the in-party bickering. I realize the primary season is the time to point out the differences between candidates, but sometimes it just went too far in an attempt to decieve people into voting one way or another. It's time for a change, the Republican party has had a few years to see if they can make good changes to our country, and as far as I am concerned made some really really bad choices and put us back a few years in respect to civil rights and foreign affairs and...i could go on and on. Who do I support in the primary? It really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. I support the Democratic Party in 2008.
But today I feel a bit chatty, so let's take a look back on some recent events.
New Year's Eve was spent working the concert/after party at the Kennedy Center with Garth. Luckily, D's schedule allowed him to come and hang out with me, which made the night go much better and gave me someone to kiss at midnight! I dreaded the event because I felt unsure of some of the logistics, but the PAFE team, as always, had everything under control and the night went very smoothly and all in all I had a good time. Balloons dropped, people sang, patrons drank, I drank....and then I got a much needed day off to recooperate.
My 29th birthday on the 28th was pretty quiet which was just fine by me. I had to work, but then D and I went out to Montmartre on Capitol Hill for dinner and had some great food and celebrated my existance. I have to say, I'm looking forward to being finished with the 20s. I sometimes feel like that little kid trying to be an adult and just not quite making it.
Christmas on the other hand was not quite what I wanted it to be. I think I wrote last year about how disappointing the holiday had become to me, and this year it held true again. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE and miss my Mom A LOT and will cross whatever distance I must to see her at Christmas, but this year, for some reason, it was incredibly hard not to be with the rest of my family (Derek, Beau, Kate, Tonya, the Bowleys, etc.) I spent a great deal of the first part of my life ashamed of who I was and hiding it from everyone in my family except Mom. Since moving away to DC/Boston/DC I have been able to live my life as it should be lived, in the open, hiding nothing. However, when I go back home to Alabama I put back on the mask because sometimes it just feels easier that way. I honestly don't know how much longer I can keep it up.
Thanksgiving was a blast, minus the fact that one of the guests had a seizure and had to be taken by ambulance to GWU. (That's a long story and I don't know him very well so that will be left untold.) However, before that we were able to spend a couple of days with Marty, the Nicks, Rob G., Tim, Steven and their families. We drank, we laughed, we cooked, we ate, we took over a DC hotel lobby...it was fantastic.
D has been working his self ragged lately. His connections in the DC theatre community are continually growing and as a result he is finding more and more work as a music director. (Which I think has been a dream of his for a very long time.) It's so great to see him so happy, but these past few months have been a little too stressful for him as he has basically been working on about 4-5 different projects at once. It will slow down a bit for him in about a week which will be really nice for us both. I miss having him around more, but so is the life when you have a partner in the theatre industry.
I have to tell a quick side story. One night when I was waiting outside Theatre J to pick D up after his rehearsal I saw a gay couple walking down the street at 10pm at night holding hands and laughing without fear or nervousness about their display of affection. I couldn't help but smile and be happy for them and I guess a little for myself. It was on the eve of leaving for Alabama and it was a quick confirmation that moving to a place like DC was the right thing to do for my life.
Finally, before I go, as it is the eve of the first Democratic caucus I will give my two cents about the upcoming primaries and 2008 election. I haven't quite decided who I will vote for in DC's primary in February. I'm leaning toward Hillary at the moment, but quite frankly I simply want whoever can win in 2008 against the Republican nominee. I'm a bit disappointed in the Democratic party as of late and mostly because of the in-party bickering. I realize the primary season is the time to point out the differences between candidates, but sometimes it just went too far in an attempt to decieve people into voting one way or another. It's time for a change, the Republican party has had a few years to see if they can make good changes to our country, and as far as I am concerned made some really really bad choices and put us back a few years in respect to civil rights and foreign affairs and...i could go on and on. Who do I support in the primary? It really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. I support the Democratic Party in 2008.
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