I sometimes wonder why my ability to socialize is so drastically changed depending on the situation. Let's look at two examples....
Example 1: I met some friends out at a bar about two weeks ago. I have just recently met this friend I was hanging out with and this was the first time we intentionally met up to hang out. I had a great time, the conversation flowed easily and I quickly became acquaintances/friends with two other guys that I would have no problem being able to say hello and hang out were I to see them out and about.
Example 2: Saturday night was Opening Night for the show my husband has been music directing for the past month or so. After the show we went up for the reception and I suddenly felt like I was the awkward kid in High School that no one wants to play with or talk to. It was no one's fault, everyone was friendly, etc. but for some reason I simply clammed up. I felt unable to carry on a conversation with anyone other than the general "hi, nice to meet you too".
I wish I understood more about myself. I want to know what internal switch gets flipped that renders me incapable of general conversation and social abilities. Why do certain situations intimidate me and others do not? I'm in development, I should be able to be charming and engaging at a moments notice, no matter the situation.
I can be engaging, right?!?!
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4 comments:
"I was the awkward kid in High School that no one wants to play with or talk to."
That is kind of how i feel about you. =-D
they have pills for this sort of thing.
Believe it or not, if I'm uncomfortable in my surrounds, I will not say a word. I just clam up. I'll smile a lot sure.. but I won't say anything.
I always (always) find you to be engaging :)
example #2 seems to happen to me in every social situation. I start out really well. then either i say something that is offensive (accidentally) or i just stop talking all together and feel like situation #2.
Remember, you are the only one who perceives that you feel that way. Everyone else just thinks that you think you are too good to talk to them. I know this first hand....from when i would go to clubs in college.
anyways, let's talk soon.
happy thanksgivin'
D
Well the first one was all about you. The second one is all about everyone BUT you. Maybe when its all about you, you view it as an acting gig and everything flows like lines. When its not about you, you're not "on" and so you seem blah.
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